How to forgive people who have done something wrong to you in the past?
Ledo2131 asked:
I really do need some advise here. Every morning when I wake up I always feel angry and wish to revenge those people who have pissed me off in the past. How do I let go the anger and frustration? Does meditation and regular exercise help? Most of the things are minor, nothing serious but I still can’t let go.
I really do need some advise here. Every morning when I wake up I always feel angry and wish to revenge those people who have pissed me off in the past. How do I let go the anger and frustration? Does meditation and regular exercise help? Most of the things are minor, nothing serious but I still can’t let go.
Remember some of the ways you have wronged others.
We must forgive others if we are to have hope that God will forgive us. Jesus instructs us to build into our prayers a request for God to forgive us in the same way that we have forgiven others who have harmed us (Matthew 6:12). If there are those we have not forgiven when we ourselves pray for forgiveness, then practically speaking we are asking God not to restore a right relationship with us after we sin.
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Question: “If I do not forgive others, does that mean my sins are not forgiven? What does Matthew 6:14-15 mean?”
Answer: Matthew 6 does not teach that our eternal destiny is based on our forgiving other people; however, it does teach that our relationship with God will be damaged if we refuse to pardon those who have offended us. The Bible is clear that God pardons sin by His grace based on Christ’s work on the cross alone, not on man’s actions. Our right standing before Him is established on one thing only—the finished work of Christ (John 3:16; 1 John 2:2; 1 John 4:10). The penalty for the sin that is rightly ours is paid by Christ, and we obtain it by grace through faith, not by any righteous deeds of our own (Ephesians 2:8-9). No one will be able to stand before God demanding that his sins be forgotten simply because he has forgiven others. Only when we are born again and given a new life through God’s Spirit by faith in Jesus Christ are our sins forgiven. Therefore, Jesus is not referring to God’s initial act of forgiveness (reconciliation) that we experienced when we first believed the Gospel.
What He is referring to is the day-to-day cleansing we obtain when we confess our sins in order to restore fellowship with our heavenly Father—the fellowship which is interrupted by the daily tarnishing of sin that affects us all. This is not the wholesale cleansing from sin that comes with salvation by grace through faith, but is more like the foot-washing Jesus describes in John 13:10. The “whole body is clean,” He told the disciples, but their feet were dirty from their walking in the world. Forgiveness in this sense is what God threatens to withhold from Christians who refuse to forgive others.
In Matthew 6 Jesus is teaching disciples how to pray and in doing so outlines how we are restored into intimacy with God whenever we have displeased Him. In fact, Jesus instructs us to build into our prayers a request for God to forgive us in the same way that we have forgiven others who have harmed us (Matthew 6:12). If there are those we have not forgiven when we ourselves pray for forgiveness, then practically speaking we are asking God not to restore a right relationship with us after we sin. To emphasize the importance of restoring broken relationships with our brothers and sisters, Jesus states that asking for God’s forgiveness for one’s own sins, all the while withholding forgiveness from someone else, is not only bizarre but hypocritical. We cannot possibly walk with God in true fellowship if we refuse to forgive others.
To be sure, an unforgiving spirit is a serious sin and should be confessed to God. If we have unforgiveness in our hearts against someone else, then we are acting in a way that is not pleasing to God, making our prayers and a proper living relationship with Him difficult. God will not hear our prayers unless we also show ourselves ready to grant forgiveness. If we are harder than iron in this regard, Christ’s exhortation ought to soften us.
A second biblically plausible interpretation of Matthew 6:14-15 is that it is saying anyone who refuses to forgive others is demonstrating that he has not truly received Christ’s forgiveness himself. Any sin committed against us, no matter how terrible, is trivial in comparison to our sins against God. If God has forgiven us of so much, how could we refuse to forgive others of so “little”? Matthew 6:14-15, according to this view, proclaims that anyone who harbors unforgiveness against others has not truly experienced God’s forgiveness. Both interpretations strongly deny that forgiveness of salvation is dependent on our forgiving others. Whether Matthew 6:14-15 is speaking of “relational forgiveness,” or whether it is a declaration that unforgiveness is the mark of an unbeliever, the core truth is the same. We should forgive others because God, through Christ, has forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32). It is inconceivable that someone who has truly experienced God’s forgiveness could refuse to grant forgiveness to others.
Talk through it until you two reach an understanding together.
It’s not healthy to bottle up your emotions. You should confront your emotions. I can’t give you specific advise because you haven’t given any specifics, but my general advise would be to let those people know how you feel but violence should be your last resort.
Don’t try to ‘just forgive’ without actually sorting out the damages first, otherwise you’ll start letting any prick offend you and become a pushover.
remind yourself that you are a better person and move on without them. There is a reason that they are in your past and not your present life.
u cannot do it alone so you need to ask god to help you forgive people ask him tol give you the spirit of forgiveness.
Go talk to them maybe they don’t now what they did.
Then pray for them
I think you have to have an understanding on 2 things-
1. what forgives is &
2. your desire to see another suffer
Forgiveness separates you from what the other person did to you, it does not separate the person from what they did to you.
So vengeance doesn’t seem to belong to you now does it?
Meditation and regular exercise will help with your anger problem….
We are all human which means we are all imperfect. Read the Four Agreements also to help change your attitude….
Also….you have wronged others….
Know that each time you think a negative thought about someone you are taking away gratitude and love from your life and replacing it with negative, ugly, energy…and wasting your postiive power .
Forgive, let it go, remember and change….
Live your life in the Present Moment….read eckhard tolle’s the Presence of Now…
Why let those who hurt you live rent free in your brain.
the only thing that heals pain is time and you could also try forgiveness.
you wont move on unless you do let it go.
The act of letting go is just that…let go of that anger or live with it. Once you’ve actually done it, you’ll realize that it has been within your capacity all along, but you have been unwilling to do it…no matter how much you might want to BS yourself. You absolutely can do it, and forgiveness really does work. The real question is “Are you actually willing to do it?” Best wishes!
Try saying a prayer for them . By doing something for them that is good. When I have difficulty forgiving, I ask the Lord Jesus to help me. I have been saying out loud, I forgive you, ( name ),,,,,,, by the act of my will, and by the power of my Lord Jesus Christ. Knowing that we need to forgive others, if we want to be forgiven,
Of the most difficult actions people are faced with having to do in this life, forgiveness ranks near the top. To pardon someone who has caused you significant pain or distress takes character that is not only hard to find, but hard to cultivate. It helps first however, to consider the benefits of unforgiveness. Is there any benefit to it? To not forgive someone means you have to hang on to your anger, because to still hold ill will towards someone, means you have to still be angry. Has holding on to anger ever done anyone any good? This is not good for you because part of your mind which could be put to better use in more productive areas, is occupied with this anger.You expend mental and emotional energy that is not good for your well being, and which doesn’t affect the person you’re not forgiving. Secondly, imagine that you have hurt someone, whether intentionally or by accident, and you deeply regret it. Would you want them to forgive you? I would. We’ve all hurt someone, and I’m sure there’s been a time in your life where you wish you could turn back the clock and replay the event, But you can’t, so the next best thing anyone can expect is forgiveness from that person, and it really hurts when they don’t forgive you.
So what happens is that by our unforgiveness, the other person may actually hurt because we won’t forgive them, while we’re still hurting for what they’ve done to us. When one person takes that first step and forgives, their hearts and minds are released from their anger, and the other person is released from their hurt because they’ve been forgiven. So to forgive is win-win for everyone. It is also the moral thing to do.
Talking to God about your frustrations can help. Please don’t plan on revenge; it will just lower yourself to their level. Exercise is helpful, too.